Relationship Tip: Don't Forget Where You Started

Relationship Tip: Don’t Forget Where You Started

I always say that things end the way they began. If your relationship began strong, if there was chemistry and love and a bond between you, and in the meantime nobody has betrayed anybody or done anything really terrible, you can get that back.

It’s easy to forget where you started when someone is getting on your nerves or isn’t acting the way you think he should act, but if you started strong, all those feelings are still down there somewhere. Remember where you came from, why you love that person, and remember that if you have love and respect and a good connection, it really doesn’t get any better than that.

True love is hard to find, so excavate it from beneath the layers of bad habits, dull routines, and taking each other for granted. Wouldn’t it be a shame to throw it all away?

Repair Strategy: Go back to your foundation. Think about what got you together in the first place. Sit down together and ask each other: Are we a team? Are we a partnership? Can we let some of the bad habits go? Can we compromise? Where can we meet in the middle? Who can give a little here and who can give a little there to get us back to that place where we started?

Think about tearing down an old rotting house and rebuilding it from the foundation. Any relationship can do that at any time, if both parties are willing.

This is an excerpt from I Suck at Relationships So You Don’t Have To: 10 Rules for Not Screwing Up Your Happily Ever After by Bethenny Frankel, available on

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