Read the Signs: How to Tell If You Have a Future Together

Once you’re in it with someone for a while, you may want to use your gut to determine how the relationship is going. Is he really into you? Is there commitment in your future, or is this just for fun? Are you walking on a similar path?

There are a lot of subtle ways to tell what someone thinks about you and how someone is trying to fit you into the future without even asking. Part of it is knowing the person you are with, paying attention, listening a lot, and feeling the energy around what the person says, cares about, and does.

Here are some signs that you are being seriously considered for a long-term relationship, or even a marriage proposal. Nobody will do all of these things, but any of them are good signs that the person you are interested in is thinking about you in future terms:

– You hear secondhand that he has been telling other people about you or bragging about you to his friends.
– He wants to spend weekends and important holidays with you or assumes you will spend them together.
– You don’t see each other only at night. You have daytime plans.
– He makes plans with you for more than two weeks in the future.
– When you tell a story, he looks you in the eye and comments on the details of what you said. He seems genuinely interested in what you are saying. In other words, he’s listening.
– He holds your hand.
– He acts protective, putting his arm around you and shielding you, maybe unconsciously, from the environment when things get loud, rough, or crowded.
– He cares about you — he acts like the world revolves around you.
– Sometimes he gets a little nervous around you, as if he is amazed that somebody like you is with somebody like him.
– He gives you compliments (but not unrealistic ones or in excess).
– He confides his weaknesses, secrets, or other personal information to you, or is vulnerable around you.
– He appreciates your quirks.
– He misses you when you go away.

This is an excerpt from I Suck at Relationships So You Don’t Have To by Bethenny Frankel, available on