How To ‘Break the Chain’ & Start Fresh In The New Year

The first step to your fresh start in 2016 is to Break The Chain.

Life is full of noise, and noise begins in childhood. Regardless of how perfect someone’s family seems, everyone has issues that can affect the future. This is why the first step in coming from a place of yes involves breaking the link between what your family thinks of you, and what you think of yourself. Understanding where you came from will help you take it or leave it — breaking the bad links in your chain, but keeping the solid ones intact. Because who you are now doesn’t have to be a product of your past. You don’t have to keep re-creating your past. You can start creating your future.

When you focus on the bad, you risk becoming the bad, or getting pulled down by the bad. When you say yes to the good in you, then you become better and better, and you have the potential to go anywhere and do and be anything. So hold on to the best parts of you from the past, and let go of the parts that hurt. They aren’t you. Take it or leave it. Your natural talents and dreams have been there all along, so look inside to find them, not to the world to fix you. In other words, you can fix yourself. That was an incredible realization for me. You can fix yourself. Break the chain, come from a place of yes, and you’ll torch the obstacles that are keeping you from seeing who you really are and what you can be. You’ll break the chain and escape the bondage of your childhood noise.

You can look at your past, recognize the noise and how it is holding you back, and choose to go a different way. But you can’t live your life looking in the rearview mirror to see who you are. Look yourself straight in the eye. That’s the real you. You get to decide what comes next. Stop getting in your own way, and stop telling yourself you can’t. Because you can.

This is an excerpt from Bethenny Frankel’s A Place of Yes: 10 Rules for Getting Everything You Want Out of Life, available on