Don’t Be Afraid to Fly Solo

It’s almost Valentine’s Day, so the topic on everyone’s mind is relationships. A new relationship, especially a really passionate one, really can sweep you off your feet, and that’s fun and exciting. It’s not necessarily bad that this happens, but you can’t fully become who you are without spending some time alone every now and then.

There are definite advantages to going out on your own. You will be more likely to meet interesting people. It can be a relief to go out when you aren’t trying to hook up with someone, too. You can actually enjoy the event and the company of friends. You’ll feel like the focus is on you, not on you as part of a couple, and that can build your self-esteem.

It will also help keep your partner on his toes. If he knows you have a life and he doesn’t have control over everything you do, he will have to be a better partner to you or you might meet somebody better. He’ll have to jump in and make a move if he wants to get on your calendar.

This is the position you want to be in. It’s good for both of you and it keeps the relationship alive, active, and exciting. It also puts you both back on equal footing, which is where you should be.

This is an excerpt from I Suck at Relationships So You Don’t Have To by Bethenny Frankel, available on