bf_step 9

Coming Together VS Codependency And How It Affects Your Success

Many of the rules to coming from a place of yes are about being true to yourself, but you don’t exist in a vacuum. Whether it’s a love relationship, a family relationship, or a business relationship, we live in a social world and we have to learn how to get along with other people. We have to Come Together.

Coming together is the opposite of codependency. When you seek to come together, what matters is your wholeness. When you become someone in your own right and are no longer dependent on the labels and opinions of others, you can get a grip on the kind of lasting contentment that carries you for a long time. Together, the two wholes become greater than the sum of their parts. You are complete, and so is your partner, and together, you become something even more amazing.

This can only happen when you’ve got yourself figured out, because then you won’t be grasping at others for something you are missing. You won’t be missing anything. You aren’t missing anything you don’t already have inside yourself. Once you realize that, you can get down to the business of coming together.

Rule #9 will change your life, when you’re ready for it. Coming together gives all your striving the meaning you were looking for. It’s the culmination of the things you thought you weren’t going to be able to do — and then realized you could do after all. This is the ultimate yes.

This is an excerpt from Bethenny Frankel’s A Place of Yes: 10 Rules for Getting Everything You Want Out of Life, available on