Monday, August 11, 2014

'RHOA' Husbands Peter Thomas, Apollo Nida & Greg Leakes + Mom Debate: The Parenting Rules + How to Score: Cracking the Credit Code

'RHOA' Husbands

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Jordan Chaney
22 days ago

Watching the parent debate going on in today's episode I am absolutely appalled at the way these mom feel on parenting. Each kid operates in there own way. My mom never set up strict rules or punishments with me and my brothers, never really telling us what to do but just doing what she felt was right and by that i feel we've become some of the best kids in my opinion. No one needs boundaries but instead if parents tried discussing and showing the consequences of their actions in the real world kids wouldn't resent there parents as much. The world and the societies we live in already have rules we all must abide by. Granted at the age of 8 i didn't understand why these rules were in place and i was ignorant to the horrible possibilities in this world, but i understood there were people you shouldn't just approach and running through the street could end up hurting you and your parents a lot. I'm 15 years old and a straight A student and so are my brothers, im part of school groups and I've never really done anything bad but i still go out with my friends at my age and have a good time because i know tons of kids and the ones with strict parents telling them 101 things they cant do those are the kids out there smoking and having sex because everyone resents boundaries to some degree. Its the natural curiosity we have to see what will happen if we go beyond them and i understand that things change when you have kids but when you all were kids, granted our generation has changed a bunch everyone wanted or still wants to be a rebel and feel the adrenalin in our bones. Why do you think roller coasters are even a thing? But its a different kind of adrenalin to do something when your parent says no and a different adrenalin than having sex when you know your dad may kill you. And in all honesty bed times aren't that big of a deal my older brother goes to bed at about 4 in the morning but hes in the top 10% of his class and the smartest person i know. That's all i have to say, Thanks Bethenny.

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215 days ago

Wow, where did you find so many judgemental and ignorant audience members!? I am a mother of 4 children and use a combination (a balance) but I sure would not judge and state that the way I parent is the best way. Our society is a mess mostly because of absent parents and lack of communication. The unschooling mom seemed to be the most grounded and intelligent one on your panel. The strict parent is a control freak living and parenting from a place of fear. I don't think I'll watch your show again ( this is only the third time). just too many fear based people who need to look in the mirror at their own issues.

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215 days ago

I think there is a necessary balance to parenting. I understand this idea of "no rules" and in that, being the roll to follow. However as a parent, I have rules that I must follow, just as my husband does. Some that I've put on myself, some that are expected, but they are also a model for behaviour and there are most definitely consequences. So for my children to have no "arbitrary" rules, well THAT would be the unbalanced, preferential treatment.

Anyway, in addition to bedtime (yikes! My 3yo may think he wants to push bedtime, but once he's in bed no later than 8pm every night, he is one happy little dude), I'm wondering about lack of rules for screen time, running into the street, hitting the kid next door, throwing your trash on the ground, etc? Just regular every day things that have very important, safe boundaries. I wouldn't classify myself anywhere NEAR authoritative, however we have healthy boundaries and in terms of parenting, we rarely have stress (of course other parts of our lives spark some stress - parenting and our sons behaviour, etc, just isn't one of those things). I get the idea of discussion in replace of rules.. for example, when my son was 18 mths and ran into our quiet road, it was a teachable moment. I explained that that was very very dangerous. I then proceeded to set the rule: we never, ever run into the road. That is a very strict rule we abide by. All of us. Sure, I hope he is self-motivated enough NOT to put his life at risk, but as a teeny little human in a big, unknown world, it has less to do with understanding & self value, and a ton more to do with a lack of ability to comprehend and a short term memory. So, a boundary works wonders.

I'm guessing this also has a bit to do with disciplinary things like time outs. To which I say, when I am on the verge of a freak out, let's say because my dog has the runs and just destroyed my carpet. I quietly excuse myself and sit down on my own to have some time to work it all out. When my lil dude has a freak out because, for instance, the circle won't fit in the square so he throws it at the completely unaware dogs, he is given some time to sort that all out and then return to the world of happy with a new outlook.

I feel like this is a lot more about nomenclature than anything, but I could be wrong. Tomato, tomahto?

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1 Reply
215 days ago

Authoritarian parenting is not the best parenting style. I was raised by authoritative parents. Being told what to do for every aspect of your life hurts the child. It doesn't allow them to grow up into the person that they are, just makes them try to grow into the person that you want them to be, making them unhappy because they can never please you. It leads to low self worth, social problems, and much more.

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215 days ago

I am sick and tired of these parents saying that parents who think their child should wait until they are married to have sex are being too extreme, and they have expectations that a child can't meet. Are you kidding?? A year ago I got married a virgin (22 yrs old). I was one of the few who made it through my teen and college years without having sex before marriage, why? because my parents had High expectations for me, and that was their rule. And I loved and respect my parents enough to do what they tell me to. They are wise beyond their years, and they have done their best to protect me and my siblings. If you are a parent, and have high expectations for your child, as well as boundaries, don't get discouraged by people who think young men and women should be free to prostitute their bodies. Be their parent, not their best friend, and you will see the fruits of your work.

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Mary W.
215 days ago

OMG! I have always liked Phaedra, however her comment that Atlanta does not consider going to 'strip clubs' negatively is ridiculous! Maybe in HER circles! What!! Not in the "REAL people of Atlanta's" circles!

Also, Cynthia's husband Peter is a handsome well groomed black man until he opens his mouth! His grammar is terrible! Surprised Cynthia ( who is well spoken and gorgeous) would go for someone who destroys the English language as he does. Not saying he is not intelligent just needs to IMPROVE on language!
He doesn't match his look. Such a shame!

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215 days ago


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Ferrer Jezz
216 days ago

Im making over $7k a month working part time. I kept hearing other people tell me how much money they can make online so I decided to look into it. Well, it was all true and has totally changed my life. This is what I do,

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218 days ago

i swear i am getting a new computer because my keyboard is completely messed up. i have to type ever so slowly in order to make any sense of what i am writin. in my above comments, unfortunately, i was typing too fast and many letters were inadvertently chopped off. i apologize. those are all typo's above and not just unadulterated ignorance. so please forgive the letter omissions. : )

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218 days ago

i agree wholeheartedly with Sharon Baumann; Bethenny, you must keep thi show on th air. i do not want to see it cancelled like the anderson cooper show [that i am tll grieving over]. you guest s are ctally fine but your prolem seems to be with all of this "relationship" preoccupaton. you should take ice cube's advice and "go for what you know". stop with all the tak about men versus women. get back to what you do best which is: BUSINESS ADVICE FOR WOMEN WHO WANT TO GO INTO BUSINESS; HELPNG WOMEN WITH THEIR BUSIESS IDEAS and your RECIPE REVAMPS. these are the things that separate your show from the other SHOWS. no other talk show can compete with your show when you do the above. but when all you do is focus on relatioships, you are no different from THE REAL or MIND OF A MAN. let those shows be whatever they want to be; you should just be contect with doing what you do BEST. guests do nt always make the show. you culd have B listers, C listers, even D listers. asking the right question is KEY, and not how important a guest is. i am a 70 year old black woman but i would rather hear you interview the music group FUN. than to listen to ANYONE interview rihanna. she's overdone while FUN. is still fun.

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sharon Baumann
219 days ago

I have followed you from the beginning and admire you as a straight shooter but I think your talk show is starting to be too much like "watch what happens live". If you want to run with the BIG DOGS you need BIG STARS. How about some singers performing. Mix it up. I don't want to see your show get cancelled like Katie's. I'm still watching and you won't lose me.

One of your girls!

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Evelyn Simek
220 days ago

Hi Bethany its Evelyn again, I'm sorry I'm such a pain.
Its the Show with Rene from Mob wives, They were
talking on the panel about life with men.And one of
the lady said a "word " I have'nt heard before . Im in
an unhappy marriage , and that was it ... And I thought
I would remember it "oops" I didn't ....... :[ xxx

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