Dating // 06.3.14 // 19 Comments

5 Tips for Dating Past 50

Are you divorced or single and have no idea where to meet guys? Read this post for tips from real women who were in the same boat!

5 Tips for Dating Past 50

"bethenny" viewer Anna isn’t even sure how to date. She feels like she’s “back here again at 50,” and that going online is “a bit of a joke.” No one who is over 50 and dating wants to feel like she's 23 again, waiting for the phone to ring -- or worse, waiting for a text!

Anna has faith that the right man will eventually come along, so she’ll just keep going on dates as she can find them, which, she admits, is sometimes difficult.

Her girlfriend Carol isn’t as positive. She’s feeling like there aren't any men out there because all the men in their age range are looking for women in their twenties. Carol and Anna got some help from Suzanne and Cindy, two other women in the audience on Friday’s show, and we collected their tips to help you get back into the dating pool!

Date Yourself First!
The girls on the couch all said you have to love yourself before you can even think about putting yourself out there. Don’t jump into another relationship, Suzanne recommends. Anna agreed, saying she had to pick herself back up and re-invent herself for her kids and for herself before she could find a healthy relationship.

Be Open!
Get the word out — don’t be embarrassed! Someone might know someone. Talk to everyone. Suzanne even advises talking to someone on line at the supermarket, at a coffee shop, or even on the street could change the way you feel about yourself or lead to an introduction.

Shop Around!
Besides being a great place to get a self-esteem boost, the supermarket is where lots of women meet men. Bethenny said she always hears her girlfriends talking about meeting men here because if they're alone, they have to feed themselves.

Go on Dates You Might Not Like!
The girls admitted that blind dates may not always be a great thing — "sometimes you wish you were blind" — but you might make a connection that will lead you to someone who would be even better for a long-term relationship.

Date Outside the Box!
Suzanne's husband is younger, so she says that it's important to relax your restrictions a bit. The man you think is — or isn't — going to work for you may not work at all, so be open!

And remember, as the girls said, divorce is the road to a new beginning. Don't be ashamed of it; get out there and own it! Share your tips with us.

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Comments

richwomen
37 days ago

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Doug Eden
274 days ago

Im a man who is 49 and my problem with dating is that the girls who are FUN and playful and let loose are in their 20's ( which doesnt last long ) but the ones near me who are over 50 and single hear the idea of sex all weekend or sex in public etc etc and shudder. .
I just find that it doesnt seem LIFE could be fun or frolicking with them, . . Their limits are too firm and restrictive and just boring to me . PLUS most of them aroudn here are so far out of shape and heavy that seeign them naked is no great desire of mine .
.
I would say as a divorced man of 49 the BEST way to get my attention if you are over 50 is to be slender, and dress slutty and act liek no ones opinion matters but the fun you have . . then make it CLEAR that you have an unquenchable sex drive, then Id be likely to say " hey I should meet that woman " . . BUT women who act " classy " all the time remind me more of my gramma than a date Id like to have.

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Dave
294 days ago

I have another suggestion to women. Don't dominate the relationship... or your man. If he feels he will be the king of his castle and not just a serf, he'll be a lot more willing to make you his queen.

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Dave
294 days ago

I would suggest that women looking for love should get rid of the man hating feminist attitude and be a loving, feminine woman that makes the relationship all about him. If you act selfish and expect (or demand) that everything be about you, then you will have a lot of short relationships, and no lasting relationships. Love works out best when you give freely without keeping some kind of score about who is doing more for who.

Men hate a selfish woman. We hate a woman that likes to blab about everything to her friends. Men value discretion... a lot. We value our privacy. If you want us to confide in you, then keep EVERYTHING we say in confidence. You may only disclose it to others if we give you explicit permission. Don't assume that you have the right to tell others about our feelings. We hate that. We won't place any trust in a woman with a big mouth. If you keep all of our conversations with you private, we will tell you everything that goes on inside our head. Our thoughts and feelings are only for you. Not your friends.... who will blab to their friends. Women like to share that stuff, men don't. So respect that.

If you want to have men knocking at your door to marry you, then become the woman described in Proverbs 31. Make it a lifestyle. Just like a diet, if you only do it temporarily, your results will only be temporary. Most women are only nice to their man until he puts a ring on her finger, or for a few years of marriage and then they change, and wonder what happened. Men don't like their woman to change. We don't like wildly changing hair colors or hair styles. We don't like heavy makeup. Look naturally beautiful. Most of those chemicals in makeup will age your skin prematurely. Use them sparingly.

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Andrew Rich
302 days ago

I have seen this a lot. Women who sabotage themselves trying to find love. They say they are open, and trying, but put up more negativity and roadblock so that no one will fit the criteria. Men over 50 are NOT all looking for women in their 20's. That is their own insecurities. I have ABSOLUTELY NOTHING in common with a woman under 40.

I am 51, and found my girlfriend of almost 4 years on plentyoffish.com. Most of the women I met were on POF, and most were lovely. But they just weren't right. I went through a couple of goth girls, one stalker, and some very negative women. I wouldn't even CONSIDER going out on a date with someone under 40. We would have nothing in common. But, after going out on dates with 31 women in 6 months, I knew I had met the right one immediately when I went on a date with Cathy. In fact, I told my friends that she was "the one" right away. They thought I was full of it because they knew my dating history. But, she was DEFINATELY the one. NO ONE MADE ME WORK FOR IT AS HARD AS SHE DID! She is 49, and we click like no one I have ever met. No screaming and yelling. We just work things out. But, she was looking, and I was looking. It was just the right timing.

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Barbara
303 days ago

Bethenny: 20 years ago, at 42 years old, I joined a famous dating service, Great Expectations, in Dallas, Texas. It was very expensive for me, but I had read once that if you, as a woman, decided to join a dating service, not to join an inexpensive one. It said that any man can come up with a couple of hundred bucks, but might just be looking for a good time with a lot of women. The article said an expensive one would attract the serious, relationship-minded men with a decent income. In fact, GC charged the men quite a bit more than the women and there were MORE men members than women! So, I bit the bullet and whipped out my charge card and paid the $1,000.00 fee, at that time. Because the men had to pay a VERY large membership fee, most of them were bankers, doctors, lawyers, airline pilots, etc. Most of the clientele, male and female were in their 40's to 70's because they weren't interested in the bar scene, and the younger people didn't need the service of could afford it.

The company used profiles and videos that the members themselves had control over. Also, the company verified, as best they could, that none of the members were secretly married. It turned out to be a simple process. They suggested only meeting for lunch the first time, after both parties had agreed to meet in person. They emphasized looking for someone with the SAME interests. Opposites may attract, but they cannot get along in the long run! Having the SAME interests is the absolute key to getting along! That's the secret that no one tells you when you you're young.

Great Expectations is worldwide and claims only a 5% divorce rate. I spent a year and 3 months using the service and went to lunch with 26 men. Number 26 turned out to be my "prince charming" of these last 18 years of marriage. We have the same birthdate (not year), and both love going to movies and restaurants and traveling and have the same sense of humor, all of which has made it a hugely successful marriage.

When any single, middle-aged woman, cringes at my mention of the thousand dollars I paid, I tell them that had I known the outcome, I would've mortgaged my house and sold everything I owned and paid 10 times as much! In exchange for my investment in my future, I married a successful banker who built me a beautiful new house, bought me new cars, was wonderful to my son, and has taken me on trips around the world to all seven continents and tells me pretty much every day that he loves me and that I'm beautiful, even now, when I'm about to turn 65 soon.

So...if you want a quality man, go where the quality men are looking for a quality woman and a real relationship. Get OFF of those run of the mill computer sites where there is so much deception. And don't wait for someone to find someone for you! If you wanted a great job, would you sit home waiting for a friend to find one for you?

By the way, I was not a woman with a degree and an outstanding career. I was a working mother who was doing my best to be a good mom, keep a clean little house, didn't have a great paying job, but who was doing my best to be an honest, reliable, thoughtful, funny, compassionate woman with a high degree of integrity. Someone saw all of that in me, and after dating 2 years asked me to marry him. Thank God for Great Expectations and Master Card!

Love, Barbara 214-717-0712

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Lisa
305 days ago

Like the ladies I am back in the dating scene I just turned 50 years young. I tried the on line dating an that was not for me I was meeting a bunch of 25year olds. I am not into the bar scene either. I am not sure where else to meet guys but will start to take notice of the guys in the supermarket.

Bethanny lots of luck with your show I look forward to the end of a long work day to sit down an enjoy your show. xoxo

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Jackie Lambert
305 days ago

great show...
\myself am 52 years young, and have been single 8 yrs... its tough.. it really seems men my age are intimidated or want 20 yr olds... it seems 30 yr old males are more than interested in me but im not... If you ever do a full show about this topic... \I would be more than happy to come along with other fabulous 50ish women... show the world( 50 year old men) what their missing!!! 50 is the new 30.. I look and feel better than I did when I was in my 30's... Thank you Bethany!!!!!!! I love your show.. I love what your doing for woman!!!!!

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Kathleen McDonald
306 days ago

In 2002 my husband passed away leaving me with 2 boys aged 10 & 12. The marriage was not a good one, he was an alcoholic and abusive. When he was alive, he reminded me often that I was fat & ugly with 2 kids and nobody would ever want me. Well 18 mos after his passing, I would notice this great looking guy at the bank. I went to the local corner store to put gas in my car and there he was. He was the manager of the store. He pulled up to me when I was pumping gas & made small talk. I asked the clerk in the store about a week later if he was married. She told me he was going through a divorce. I figured, what the heck!! I left a note for him asking him out for coffee. We have been together since 2004 and he is wonderful to me. Guess what, I am not fat and ugly. I am now 56 y/o and confident and love my life and my man!! Thanks for letting me tell my story.
Kat

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steve
306 days ago

Loved the show today...WOW...Especially the segment on dating after 50. Very entertaining and helpful. Cindy...was GREAT.

Thanks, Jim

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Maryse
306 days ago

Like these girls I just turn 51 and been single for almost 5 yrs. dated a few guys but never went anywhere. I am very active and confident and find most men my age constantly complain about sore backs and knee, not very active nor really look after themselves. I met someone who is nice and would give me the world. I have absolutely no attraction to him nor is there any chemistry on my side. He is such a good man I keep thinking that if I continue seeing him something may develop on my side.

Can something develop with someone whom you have no physical attraction nor chemistry with though you know he would be the perfect man to spend your life with as he would treat me with nothing but respect and like a queen.

Help as the dating pond is so slim for women my age and not interested in dating way younger then me.

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