Friendship // 10.4.13 // 4 Comments

Dr. Amador: Shut Up. Listen. And Win.

Do you listen with your ears or your mouth? Bethenny's therapist, Dr. Amador, says when you are actually listening to someone whom you're in conflict with, you don't win arguments; you win by strengthening relationships.

Did you roll your eyes? Walk out of the room? Everyone has negative listening behaviors when arguing, but here's how to stop them. It's your free weekly therapy, direct from Dr. Amador...

They happen every day -- those circular "I'm right, you're wrong!" arguments. We know we’re right and the other person is being an idiot because he or she is dead wrong. The problem is that the "idiot" also knows they're right and you're the one who's too dumb or too stubborn to admit it.

What have you done to make the person you were arguing with see things your way? Did you repeat opinion again and again? Yelled? Sulked? Rolled your eyes? Lined up people who agree with you and threw their unwelcome opinions your adversary's face? If you're in an argument that's going nowhere and hurting your relationship, you’re ignoring the simple antidote to these poisonous, relationship-killing interactions.

You will win when you stop repeating your position and start listening.

Dr. Amador recently appeared on "Good Day LA" to discuss how to be a better listener. You can check out the video here »

About Dr. Amador:
Dr. Amador is an internationally sought-after speaker, clinical psychologist, professor at Columbia University Teachers College in New York City, the Founder and Director of the LEAP Institute and author of eight books including the national best seller “I’m Not Sick, I Don’t Need Help!™”

Dr. Amador was featured in "Bethenny Getting Married" and "Bethenny Ever After" as Bethenny's therapist. His expertise has made him a regular contributor to the "Today" show and a featured guest on ABC's "Good Morning America," "Prime Time Live," "CBS This Morning," "NBC Nightly News," "60 Minutes," CNN, "Dateline," ABC’s "World News Tonight," FOX News, the New York Times, Wall Street Journal, USA Today and many others. Learn more about Dr. Amador »

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Babatunde Agoro
319 days ago

I will be intimidated if my woman into porn, because my woman is only for me to see, not for every other men to see

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sheila white
527 days ago

Bethenny elderly people do not seem to get the attention that the young people do.
I have a question.. I have always loved geriatrics so I started a residential ,24 hr home right next door to me. Its a great alternative to nursing home and its 1/2 the price. How do I get the word out? Its like its a secret and its one that is fantastic. Any ideas?

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Robbi Ellison
531 days ago

Dr. A. is profoundly influential, probably beyond his wildest imagination. Love him!

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Emma F.
531 days ago

I love love loved this blog. Being right, or proving that I'm right, isn't as important as ending the argument. I think that these steps are great and I hate to say it- but I'm almost excited for the next argument with my boyfriend!

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