Dr. Amador: Shut Up. Listen. And Win.
Do you listen with your ears or your mouth? Bethenny's therapist, Dr. Amador, says when you are actually listening to someone whom you're in conflict with, you don't win arguments; you win by strengthening relationships.
Did you roll your eyes? Walk out of the room? Everyone has negative listening behaviors when arguing, but here's how to stop them. It's your free weekly therapy, direct from Dr. Amador...
They happen every day -- those circular "I'm right, you're wrong!" arguments. We know we’re right and the other person is being an idiot because he or she is dead wrong. The problem is that the "idiot" also knows they're right and you're the one who's too dumb or too stubborn to admit it.
What have you done to make the person you were arguing with see things your way? Did you repeat opinion again and again? Yelled? Sulked? Rolled your eyes? Lined up people who agree with you and threw their unwelcome opinions your adversary's face? If you're in an argument that's going nowhere and hurting your relationship, you’re ignoring the simple antidote to these poisonous, relationship-killing interactions.
You will win when you stop repeating your position and start listening.
Dr. Amador recently appeared on "Good Day LA" to discuss how to be a better listener. You can check out the video here »
About Dr. Amador:Dr. Amador is an internationally sought-after speaker, clinical psychologist, professor at Columbia University Teachers College in New York City, the Founder and Director of the LEAP Institute and author of eight books including the national best seller “I’m Not Sick, I Don’t Need Help!™”
Dr. Amador was featured in "Bethenny Getting Married" and "Bethenny Ever After" as Bethenny's therapist. His expertise has made him a regular contributor to the "Today" show and a featured guest on ABC's "Good Morning America," "Prime Time Live," "CBS This Morning," "NBC Nightly News," "60 Minutes," CNN, "Dateline," ABC’s "World News Tonight," FOX News, the New York Times, Wall Street Journal, USA Today and many others. Learn more about Dr. Amador »
Comments
Bethenny elderly people do not seem to get the attention that the young people do.
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Dr. A. is profoundly influential, probably beyond his wildest imagination. Love him!
I love love loved this blog. Being right, or proving that I'm right, isn't as important as ending the argument. I think that these steps are great and I hate to say it- but I'm almost excited for the next argument with my boyfriend!