After all, there were several reasons to think I wasn’t/wouldn’t.

First, there was the situation around me, a slowly erupting street fair, mobbed with LES hipsters and baby-strollers, along with the readers of New York Magazine and the merely food-curious.

Second, was my curious way of note-taking, typing frantically into the yellow-pad simulacrum on my iPhone, looking to the outside world like a compulsive Tweeter or a man busy fighting a break-up via text message.

Thirdly and most importantly though, was the pressure of having to look Bethenny Frankel in the face and try to assert that you know what you’re doing.

“uh, yup.” I told her meekly.

And she shrugged and dove back into the throng.

It was my first day working as Bethenny Frankel’s food blogger and it had begun inauspiciously. I reported to the Hester Street Fair, a seasonal gathering of NYC take-out chow-places, only to find the aforementioned growing mob we would have to wend our way through.

While Bethenny could handle such situations with seemingly sheer force-of-purpose, I opted simply to stay close and hope I could pass through in her wake.

For her part, she seemed ready for anything, approaching stall-after-stall, cooing at sliders prepared with gooey grilled-cheddar and lobster rolls to die for. Which was only made more awkward by my announcement that I didn’t eat meat.

Actually, poultry for protein only, I informed her, an announcement that became more awkward when I took a bite out of what turned out to be a pulled-pork empanada unknowingly. Bethenny saw my mistake and pointed it out.

“You sure?” I asked her.

“Yep, this one oinks, this one quacks.” She told me, switching our meaty pastries and it was on to the next one.

Our strategy, decided on earlier, was to grab small bites of everything with an emphasis on taste over completion, an important factor when dining in multiple-menu situations like a street fair.

And while this led to the aforementioned empanada crisis, it also led Bethenny to a Sigmund Aged Cheddar-and-Truffle pretzel that was served warm to her, gooey out of the wax paper.

“Better than sex.” She exclaimed matter of factly, before offering me a piece.

And while I usually value enjoyable/consensual activities over food, I did agree the pretzel was good.

My personal favorite came up with the mobbed-up Patacon Pisao, a favorite truck out of Inwood who had trekked down to Hester to serve a different sort of crowd then they were used to.

For those unfamiliar, a patacon is a sandwich made from two pounded, fried plantains, made bread-like in their crunchiness, yet retaining their distinctive sweet-and-savory flavor. In my case, stuffed between them was a liberal helping of pulled chicken, crema and salsa verde, with some lettuce for texture and to help bind the flavors together, I suppose.

When I downed most of mine, however, my own stomach was able to down it, while Bethenny shied away from yet another something that looked fried-and-creamy.

“Too much.” She said.

Which was the right instinct, as it left us room for the Pumpkin-Pie and Molasses-Cookie ice cream sandwich from Hester Fair’s perennial favorites, Melt Bakery.

I watched as Bethenny paid them the ultimate compliment, kissing her fingers to her lips and proclaiming “Yum!” before assuring the very-happy bakers of a bright future together.

At this point, we were both full and headed out of the fair, which seemed over-stuffed as well.

***

Outside, Jason and baby Bryn came to meet us, stroller-bound, and suddenly, everything slowed and calmed.

Inside the Hester Street Fair had been a sort of race-against-time, trying to skip past crowds, pausing for autographs and photographs and simple shaking hands. It was hard to get macaroni-and-cheese in there too.

But everything chilled out a lot outside there, with Jason’s sunny attitude and grateful acceptance of our leftovers.

Also, Bryn is really cute and was, amazingly for the mob of people right near her, on her best behavior.

Bethenny seemed to calm down too, suggesting and then treating us all to spiked organic slushies from the Kelvin Slush truck, parked outside the fair, which we spiked with one-shot Bacardis I found at a liquor store down the street.

Mine was a Ginger-Guava mix, which was spicier than I thought shot, with a baseline cool relief, and reminded me of a guiltless version of the curry-syrup mangoes they sold sliced down my block; a New York flavor.

We cheers-ed with our bootleg margaritas and took a stroll down Essex St. on what was certainly a beautiful day and one easier appreciated with spiked-slushies in hand.

We made one last stop that day, over at the Doughnut Plant, around the corner on Grand St, which boasted it’s own line.

“Watch and see.” Bethenny said as Jason I stared unsurely at the situation from behind Bryn’s baby carriage and, sure enough, she waltzed right in, even forgoing griping line-goers by rewarding them with fresh-made doughnuts, on the house.

This however, left us with less than we thought to try, but we did manage to grab the store-man’s favorite, the Crème Brulee doughnut, freshly toasted at the top with a blow-torch and richly custardy inside, like an haute Boston-Cream.

As we left our day of food adventure goodbye, we passed an open storefront with a sign saying “Pizza Class In Session” hanging in the window.

“There,” She pointed with an excited gleam in her eye, looking at me. “That’s for next time.”

***

HESTER STREET FAIR (seasonal)

Corner of Hester and Essex Sts.

FJMZ to Delancey-Essex Sts. BD to Grand St.

www.hesterstreetfair.com

***

SIGMUND PRETZELSHOP

Aged-Cheddar and Truffle Pretzel- $3.50

29 Avenue B bet. 2^nd and 3^rd.

FJMZ to Delancey-Essex Sts.

www.sigmundnyc.com

***

PATACON PISAO

Patacon Pollo w/Crema, Lettuce, Salsa Verde- $5

202^nd St bet 9^th and 10^th Aves.

1 to 207^th St.

www.pataconpisaonyc.com

***

MELT BAKERY

The “Jack” (Pumpkin Pie Ice Cream w/Molasses Cookie Sandwich)- (price depending on order/venue)

Order online/at Hester St. Fair

www.meltbakery.com

***

KELVIN SLUSH

Ginger-Guava Slushie (extra shot not included)- $4

Location changes daily, check www.kelvinslush.com or @KelvinSlush on twitter

***

DOUGHNUT PLANT

Crme Brulee Doughnut- $3

Corner of Grand St and Norfolk St.

FJMZ to Delancey-Essex Sts

www.doughnutplant.com

-Nick

Nicholas Feitel is still not sure what he wants to do with his life. From 2009-10 he was a contributing editor for The Film Society of Lincoln Center’s blog, he has appeared in videos for “The Late Show With David Letterman” and “The Colbert Report” and has directed several short films. He likes to spend his time finding good places to eat and giving directions to confused-looking tourists on NYC sidewalks. He received his BFA from NYU (Film ’09) and runs his own blog.